


look you in the eye and I see right through

by glacecherie



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 5 Times, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 11:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14669808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glacecherie/pseuds/glacecherie
Summary: Mitch isn't pining, because if he was pining it'd be a lot more romcom montage style rather than him seeing Auston fight to get his own jeans off and feeling hopeless and fond all at once.[Or: 5 times Mitch realises he's in love with Auston, and 1 where Auston loves him back.]





	look you in the eye and I see right through

They're exhausted but happy after a hard-earned win, and technically Mitch should be over the moon, should be joining the rest of the team for a night out, but -

He slept like _shit_ last night, and his shoulder kinda feels so tense and achy that he winces even getting changed. He's not really feeling stopping out until the early hours of the morning somewhere so loud he can barely think.

Auston is going, which is fine. He seems pumped and he's chattering away as he gets ready, and Mitch makes noises in all the right places.

At least, he does until he zones out enough that he doesn't even twig that Matts just asked him which shirt looks better, the dark red one (hot) or the weird gross khaki one (gross).

"Hey, you okay?" He says, quieter, and Mitch tries to say some reassurance but - what actually comes out is a whiny sort of noise, and he snaps his mouth closed so quick he bites his own cheek.

Smooth.

Auston tosses his shirt on the floor and comes closer, brushing Mitch's hair off his forehead to press the back of his hand against it, and Mitch tries not to flinch or press closer.

"M'not _sick_." He says, and Auston frowns, giving him a once over.

"You look like shit, though."

"Thanks."

There's a pause, and Mitch lets his eyes close again. Auston's hand is still touching him. He could doze quite happily like this, but that's neither here nor there.

"You want me to stay?" He asks after while, voice much softer.

Mitch can't even bring himself to lie. He's not sad persay, but he'd like a wheat bag for his shoulder and also to sleep for a week.

"Please?"

Auston ruffles his hair and smiles at him, and it's too fond for Mitch to look at for more than a split second.

"Lemme grab my phone." He says, dimming the light before he starts to wriggle out of his jeans again. Mitch very, very valiantly stares straight ahead at the TV.

"You'll trip and break your neck getting those off one day."

Auston snorts, which really shouldn't be endearing and yet.

He comes back over and climbs into bed, hauling Mitch against his side. The brutal, tender little thing that he's come to associate with Auston anchors itself harder into Mitch's chest.

 _Please_ , he thinks. _Not now._

"Shitty romcom?" Auston asks, and Mitch aches and aches and nods.

It's the start of a whole series of incidents where Mitch realises he can't deny he's head over heels anymore.

It. Fucking. Sucks.

-

They're flying back to Toronto and it's bitterly cold even to Mitch. Auston is shaking like a leaf (ha) and bravely trying to hide how his hands are still freezing even after they're seated.

Mitch watches him suffer for a short while. It's funny.

Then he reaches over and grabs his hand before he can stop himself. They really are pretty fucking cold. It's justified.

Auston rolls his eyes but doesn't pull away, opening some game on his phone where you have to connect dots, and it's simple enough, but that doesn't stop Mitch chirping him.

He doesn't pull his hand back, even when it's warmed up, and Mitch falls asleep like that, trying not to think about how neat it'd be if he could hold his hand like...on the reg.

It doesn't work.

 _Fuck_.

-

Auston asks him if he wants to grab lunch after practice one day, and naturally Mitch says yes.

He knows logically that he should stop tormenting himself, stop imagining what ifs, stop daydreaming little scenarios when he's trying to get to sleep but -

He's 20, and he's not really the best at making good decisions on the whole, let alone about Auston.

When they sit down at the sushi place, there's a candle on the table and a they've already put decorations up for valentines day even though it's the middle of January.

He feels like he's been punched in the chest slightly, which is foolish. Since when have a bunch of paper hearts and cutesy bunting had that effect on anyone?

He knows it's the whole package that's making it hard (Auston leant towards him and giving him his full attention, his hair still wet from the shower, the fucking hoodie that Mitch has definitely worn when he's stayed over, the fucking candle -) but knowing that doesn't make it any easier to stomach.

He tries not to watch Auston's lips when he speaks and soaks up all the detail of what's happening, tucking it away for later.

-

They fall asleep in the same bed during a netflix binge, licking their wounds after a heavy loss. Mitch wakes up at 2am, some intangible panic shaking him from sleep.

He takes a couple of deep breaths. It was probably some leftover anxiety from the game, he thinks.

Then he realises he's not alone and oh, yeah. That'll be it. He's pressed himself close, head nearly tucked into Matts' neck like he's trying to make a home there and that's not -

It's probably not okay. Not very chill.

He takes a moment, squeezing his eyes shut, to try and take in every little detail of it, the scratchy stubble pressed to his forehead, the weight of his arm that's laid over Mitch's shoulders, the fucking warmth that he wants to hang onto and keep. All of it.

Then he tries wriggling free, but it's not as easy as he thought it'd be, not with pins and needles in his leg and Auston doing a decent impression of an octopus.

He's barely got his arm dislodged when Auston groans tiredly and hauls him right back to where he started. He presses his hand between Mitch's shoulderblades and huffs.

"Stay fuckin' still." He slurs, and okay, he kind of smacks his chin into Mitch's face, but it hardly matters when his heart is beating so fast all of a sudden that it's a wonder he doesn't have some sort of coronary. Fucking - great.

It definitely won't hurt more in the morning now that he's had the experience of Auston holding him willingly, rather than accidentally because they're in close quarters.

Outside, the snow has started falling again, flakes big enough to make little shadows as they catch the moonlight. He's not quite sure why that tips him over into biting his lip to stop his eyes prickling, but it does.

Eventually, he makes the best of it. He presses his lips very gently to Auston's bare shoulder, just the once, then forces himself back to sleep.

-

One night a few weeks later, they get moderately drunk and play increasingly less coordinated games of Call Of Duty. Mitch teases him that he can't actually tell the difference between when he plays drunk or when he plays sober.

The chirps get steadily worse along with their playing, and eventually they're both giggling too much to even make an attempt anymore.

Mitch looks at how Auston's eyes crinkle a little when he laughs and digs his fingernails into his palms. He wants. He really fucking wants to just -

Kiss him. Gently. He wants those make out sessions that go on forever and start chaste but end up with Auston's hands curled around his wrists, thumb pressed over his pulse.

Wow, he's far too sober, because thinking that smarts. If he was absolutely drunk off his ass it wouldn't as much. Probably.

Something must show on his face, some flicker of galling sadness, because Auston squeezes his shoulder.

"Anyone there?" He says, clicking his fingers in front of Mitch.

What he means to say is " _sorry_ " or " _I'm just tired_ ". Any excuse or apology would be better than what actually comes out, which is;

"Will you stay here tonight?"

Not even " _do you want to"_. There's a big difference. He's cringing at himself.

Auston doesn't miss a beat, though.

"Sure, if you tell me what's wrong."

Mitch's stomach drops before he rationalises that Auston doesn't actually know he's suddenly morose because he's in love with him. There could be any number of shitty things going on.

"Just...Stress." He mumbles, shifting uncomfortably. He shrugs. "It's no big deal."

"It's enough of a deal to upset you."

"Yeah." Mitch says eventually, because what else can he say?

Auston drops it, but when they move upstairs he's reluctant to leave him alone. Emotionally dumb sometimes he may be, but he seems to get that Mitch thrives on physical affection.

He waits until Mitch is getting into bed to leave, and even then he's slow timing it.

"You gonna be okay?" He says, and Mitch fucking aches with how concerned he is.

He nods, even though it's a blatant lie.

"Yeah, just - tired."

Auston makes a noise, very obviously unconvinced.

"I'll make breakfast, no arguing."

 _God_ , he wants to bask in this, in being taken care of, bittersweet as it is.

Then -

Auston leans down and kisses his forehead, soft and slow to pull away.

 _Oh_.

He presses his lips together so he doesn't make some kind of noise.

"Night." He says, tugging the quilt over him.

"Goodnight."

Mitch waits until the door has been closed softly to press his fingers to where Auston kissed him.

It's like he can still feel the shape of it. He wants to cling to it.

 _Oh_.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Whew, first time writing this style of fic, I hope it's good! I was working on the next part of Divination and of my Nico/Nolan selkie fic when inspiration struck me.
> 
> I can't be the only one with a weakness for clueless soft pining, surely?
> 
> Part two will be in a couple of days!


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